Writer Life Update
When I sat down to work on this, I also checked on the status of a submission I'd done at the beginning of the year. Not to anyone's surprise, it was rejected (thus is the nature of the writing world) but there was something about the form that made me blink. To be real, I was absolutely expecting to get rejected but I still couldn't help but project my disappointment onto this poor, robotic form. Sorry, bud. You were mean to me so I hate you now.
Anyway, that's life! It actually feels good to have a rejection under my belt for the year. It's like I'm actually writing again. But, what does that look like? When I left Salt Lake County (miss y'all!) I was asked by a ton of people what it means to be writing and publishing so, here you go:
Currently I have two novels in the works. One is mostly finished and I'm at the point where I am almost ready to start querying while I clean up the last bits of it. The other is very much in draft form. Both of them are queer, second-chance romances, featuring women and femmes in their 40s and older.
Querying (for the uninitiated) is a thankless and yet necessary process where we (authors) send a letter outlining our heart and souls to agents and editors, hoping that we catch the right person's attention. I am not going to lie - I write queer fiction set in Salt Lake. I'm not sure what the market really is for people like me. But, as I continue to build this platform, I'm going to do some querying to test the market. But, I am expecting that I will be going the self-publishing route. My goal is to hire a local editor and also a local queer artist for my covers.
In addition, I've got one grant application out for review and I am finishing up another. Getting grants as a writer is far more difficult than people realize sometimes. It ain't easy for artists either, for the record. But most of the time what comes up for authors are opportunities to attend workshops - which will still cost us money! And don't get me wrong, retreats and workshops and conferences are where it is at. But, that doesn't pay the bills either.
Editorial Rant: There is such a weight of economic privilege wrapped into the work writers and artists do, that comes coupled with a lack of understanding from the world at large about what it takes to create the art that goes out there. AI is not helping matters. The idea that someone can just put a prompt into a generator and then "create" something only floods the market, drives down prices, and makes it harder for artists to exist. Working full time, creating full time, marketing full time ... it takes a toll.
So, whenever you can - support artists and writers financially and please don't use AI. Not even for searching on how to fix a door. Beyond stealing from writers and artists, AI is a polluting force and the water needed to power cooling centers is draining groundwater reserves faster than ever anticipated.
Stand With Your Community
We are inundated every day with so much chaos and news that it is impossible to sort through all of it. Even with my social media blockers, I still end up doomscrolling and losing my soul just a little bit in all of it.
Every day, we see more evidence of the horrors being enacted by Federal Agents and every day, it feels more and more frustrating. I know for my own situation, calling to talk to my Congresswoman feels like speaking to a brick wall. (I still do it, but it breaks me a bit more every single time.)
But, government is designed to be inefficient and communities need help now. If you are so inclined, please check out the work the Salt Lake Bail Fund is doing. They are a group that does on-the-ground court support work, Know Your Rights trainings, and bail assistance. Please consider donating to their work and/or signing up to volunteer with the court support program.
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Writing!
Additionally, I don't think that I can post anything in good conscience without commenting about the dark turn the Administration took this weekend. While the attack on Iran was not at all a surprise, it is yet another tool in the box that they use to flood the zone with tragedy and chaos, leading to us being too burned out to respond.
This on the heels of some of the most frustrating work at the Utah State Legislature, and horrifying news out of Kansas regarding the drivers license law that was passed and signed so quickly that even the sponsors of the bill weren't sure what was in it.
The world is moving at exponential speed right now, and it's so very easy to tell people to sit back and focus on peace, because peace is revolutionary. However, we also need to step forward. Please check out your local bail fund (if you are not in Salt Lake), the International Refugee Committee, the ACLU, local mutual aid, and your local public radio and TV stations.
When we say that we get through this with community, we mean showing up - even when you'd rather be at home in your pjs. Trust me, my favorite place to be is on my couch with the cats and the world is overstimulating and frustrating.
You don't have to save everyone. You can't! But you can pick one thing (see my list of examples above) and dedicate yourself to supporting that community. They need money, they need volunteers, and they need people who will be vocal and support them when the law turns against them.
All right - now we share writing!
This one is a very old one. It was part of an exploration I did for my Queer Theory class in college. I based the collection on 21 Poems by Adrienne Rich and this one came from so many experiences friends had coming out and reminds me how lucky I am to have the family I do.
And, as always, you can get stories like this (and more!) over on my Patreon. If you want me to write something for you (and I am happy to do so!) you can check out my Ko-fi page.
Golden Daughter
I stood before you tonight, a woman.
I am everything you taught me to be – I am strong and capable. I can run twice as fast and jump twice as high and shoot twice as far and I can do it all backwards and in high heels.
I am everything a woman should be. I graduated at the top of my class – first in college and then again at the academy. I follow in your footsteps and I look better than you do in dress uniform.
I am everything you desire for me.
Yet, you cannot look at me.
I stood before you tonight, and I told you I was in love.
I spoke her name and smiled when I did. I told you she meant something to me. You told me that I am a farce – that I should remove the heels and my makeup and the silk blouses I look so good in and instead don cutoff jeans and flannel. You told me that the men on the team were influencing me and that I wasn’t aware of my own self and that I am confused.
You told me to go to church and forget about her and kneel before God and pray for forgiveness.
I stood before you tonight, a woman who looks so much like you, and you could not see me. We look like we could be sisters – though your blonde hair is now tinged with gray and there are more likes around your tired blue eyes. You have seen more on the force than I, and seen more in your life than I never hope to be witness to. I stood before you, the carbon copy of you, and you turned away from me, ashamed that I could be everything you desired but that I couldn’t love as you commanded.
So I left, angry. It is after all, a woman’s prerogative. It is a woman’s prerogative to change her mind, as I will tomorrow when I call you and beg for your love again – and it is a love that you will not give. Not willingly. But I am your daughter. I am your copy. Your replacement on this year. We share height and hair and eyes and careers and if you cannot accept this part of me, how can I accept it in myself?
I will tell you that it’s okay, that I love you anyway.
And hope that you say it back.
Where Can You Find Me in March
Currently, I do not have any workshops scheduled for March, although I will be at Pre-Quills in April.
However, I will be running two different one shots:
March 7th from 11:30-3:00 at Umbrella Cafe. This will most likely be a Daggerheart one shot and don't worry, I'll have everything you need at the table!
March 20th from 6:30-10:00 at the Legendarium. This is probably going to be a D&D one shot. You can sign up here:
A Word from my Sponsor: Absolute Outrage at the Trump Administration
As I mentioned earlier, we went to Zion's park for our birthdays and we had so much fun!
We were even lucky enough to get in for free, since we went on President's Day. However, there was a catch. We got in for free because a very tired looking park ranger asked if we were US Citizens. If we had not been, it would have cost us $235 to enter the park. You read that right. The cost is $35 for a vehicle and an extra $100 for each non-citizen (no matter the day). How disgusting is that for us as a country. Where we should be celebrating the lands we have, we are instead hoarding them.
I was insulted, not just on behalf of the ranger who was required to ask the question, but on behalf of all of us here in Utah and around the country. Way to represent on President's Day.
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